


not quite a fairy tale

by pein



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Fluff, Height Differences, M/M, deidara and kisame are juniors and zabusa is a senior, deidara gets around apparently, did you know kisame is exactly one foot taller than deidara, itachi is mentioned once, lots of teasing and jokes, the entire thing is fluff, there's no kisadei so i have to write it myself, they're 29cm apart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-10
Updated: 2018-06-10
Packaged: 2019-05-20 17:11:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,889
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14898620
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pein/pseuds/pein
Summary: in which deidara and kisame go on a not-date to a seafood restaurant.





	not quite a fairy tale

“Kisame.”

It was nearing closing time at the library, and Deidara had been studying a table away from Kisame for the past three hours. Different subjects, judging from the way the giant man kept frowning, crossing out things, and then brightening up after a particularly long string of writing.

Kisame looked up and met eyes with Deidara, wrinkling his brow in confusion.

“Do I know you?” he asked in that same quiet tone Deidara had heard him use in every class they had together. The blond couldn’t find it in himself to be offended.

“We’re in sculpture and physics together, un,” said Deidara with an easy grin. “I’m a bit easier to miss than you, I guess.”

Kisame rolled his eyes. “Suppose so. What’s your name, blondie?”

“I’m Deidara. Deidara Namikaze. Itachi Uchiha’s childhood friend.” At Itachi’s name, Kisame’s expression lit up in recognition.

“He’s definitely mentioned you. Funny, I thought you’d be… louder.”

A bark of laughter escaped Deidara’s lips, and he covered his mouth as soon as he realized it. Right, have to be quiet in a library.

“I’m a lot louder when I’m not cooped up in class, un. You should see the shit I get up to with Hidan.” Deidara smiled mischievously.

Instead of disapproval at the laughter and swearing in a library, Kisame seemed amused. He stretched his arms above his head and cracked his neck.

“Well, let’s see how loud you can get, blondie. It’s nearly nine, isn’t it? I have nothing to do tomorrow. Let’s get dinner.”

“Are you asking me out, big guy?” teased Deidara. He gathered up his papers and stashed them in his bag. “I’m down.”

Kisame stood and picked up his belongings, already neatly put away. “You sure are small,” he observed as Deidara got up beside him.

“You sure are big, un,” retorted the blond, glaring up at Kisame. “Give me some of that height.”

“Beg,” said Kisame, then pushed Deidara’s chair back under the table and headed for the door.

Deidara took a second to process what Kisame had said, and then felt his cheeks redden. He picked up his bag and darted after Kisame.

“Don’t be an asshole,” huffed Deidara as they stepped into the crisp November air. “I don’t beg!”

“That can change,” Kisame fired back. Then he paused. “Wait, why’d you suddenly start talking to me, anyways? I can’t be _that_ interesting to you. I never talk in class unless I’m answering a question, and I wouldn’t think Itachi talks that much about me.”

Deidara crossed his arms. “Ah, well, y’see… sometimes a mystery is intriguing all on its own. Or something, un.”

“Ah,” said Kisame. “You thought I was hot.”

“How the _hell_ did you get that from what I said, dumbass?”

“I was joking, joking I tell you!” Kisame laughed. “You have your reasons. I get that.”

Deidara knew he was pouting, but he couldn’t find it in himself to care. “Well, where do you wanna eat dinner, then? Since you know everything, un.”

“That seafood place off of Kaede Street is really good. And it’s not even that expensive!” Kisame grinned, showing off unnaturally sharp teeth. Deidara’s cheeks reddened further.

“Right. Let’s go there, then. Lead the way, big guy.”

The walk to Kaede Street was mostly quiet, with Deidara’s footsteps coming faster than Kisame’s so that he could keep up with the longer strides. Really, Deidara hated tall people.

“You alright?” asked Kisame as they stopped at a light. There was both concern and amusement in his voice, but Deidara ignored them both and stretched his legs out.

“I’m fine, you’re just too fucking big.”

Kisame laughed, a rough, deep sound. “Grow longer legs, blondie. That’s all I can suggest.”

“Maybe you should slow down, un!” Deidara pushed Kisame’s arm, but didn’t even sway the taller man.

“I’d offer to carry you, but you don’t seem to be much of a princess.”

The light changed to green before Deidara had time to properly cuss Kisame out, and he was back to jogging just to keep up.

When they got to the seafood place, Deidara was out of breath and sweaty despite the cold outside. His hair had fallen from its ponytail and he decided to just give up and pull the hair tie out.

He didn’t notice the look Kisame gave him when he shook his hair out and tucked his bangs behind his ear, but that was just as well. He’d have probably cussed Kisame out for that, too.

They got to a booth and Deidara dropped his bag next to him on the seat. He watched as Kisame carefully set down his folders and books and slid into the seat across from him.

“You’re one put-together motherfucker, aren’t ya?” grumbled Deidara. Kisame simply grinned back.

“Hi. I’m Zabusa. I’ll be your server toda- what the fuck are you doing here?”

Deidara and Kisame looked at each other, both with alarmed expressions. “You know him?” asked Kisame weakly.

“That’s what I’m asking you, un!”

Zabusa facepalmed and sighed deeply. “Hoshigaki. This is my ex-boyfriend. Namikaze. This is my coworker.”

“You dated _Zabusa_?” Kisame asked, looking horrified. “As in, this bastard right here?”

Deidara covered his face. “I didn’t know he worked here?” he offered.

“Well, whatever,” said Zabusa. “What do you idiots want to drink?”

“Water is fine,” said Deidara.

“Lemonade,” said Kisame. He shook his head. “Zabusa, you really have to adopt a better attitude.”

“I think I have every right to be a little bitter that my ex boyfriend is now dating my coworker,” Zabusa huffed, then turned on his heel and went for the kitchen.

“He thinks we’re dating?” asked Deidara.

“I mean, we’re sitting in a two-person booth at a semi-nice restaurant on a Friday evening,” said Kisame with a shrug. “There are parallels that could be drawn.”

“I see,” said Deidara. He rested his chin on his hand. “Is this a date?”

For the first time, Kisame seemed speechless and his cheeks colored. “Ah, well, about that…”

“Joking, un,” said Deidara. He shook his head. “We just met, I know. We barely know each other.”

Kisame reached out as if to touch Deidara’s hair, but stopped himself and pulled back. He coughed awkwardly and smiled.

“Let’s amend that, then.”

Deidara raised an eyebrow. “How do you suggest we do that, big guy?”

“Call me by my name, Deidara.”

Deidara jolted upright, cheeks immediately back to red. “I… you want me to?”

“Come on,” said Kisame coaxingly. “My name was the first thing you said to me. It can’t be that hard to say.”

“Kisame,” said Deidara. He allowed himself to smile. “Right.”

“Here are your drinks,” Zabusa said, placing the glasses on the table with the precision of a server who had been working in the business since he was fifteen. “You two ready to order?”

“Ah, yeah. I’ll have the clam chowder, un,” said Deidara, handing his menu to Zabusa. “Kisame?” he asked.

The grin he got in return made his stomach turn. “I’ll take the grilled salmon with white rice.”

“Right,” said Zabusa. He crossed his arms. “You two better stay decent.”

Deidara rolled his eyes and went to say that it wasn’t a date, but something in him made him stop. Maybe he wanted it to be a date. Maybe it was.

So instead he gave Kisame a flirty smirk and glanced over to Zabusa. “We’ll try,” he said cheerfully.

As soon as Zabusa was out of earshot Kisame chuckled. “You certainly are something,” he said bemusedly.

“You didn’t say anything to the contrary either,” Deidara pointed out. “It’s fun to see him squirm.”

“He’s not the only one,” said Kisame. “You’re rather cute when I tease you, you know.”

“Cute? Me?” demanded Deidara. “Bullshit, un.”

Kisame reached out, and this time didn’t stop himself from brushing a strand of hair away from Deidara’s face. The blond’s breath caught, and he watched as Kisame pulled his hand back.

“I think I’m right.”

Deidara crossed his arms and frowned. “You play unfairly.”

“Haven’t you heard? All’s fair in love and war.”

“Maybe so,” said Deidara. He looked away. “I just wish you wouldn’t make my heart pound like that.”

Kisame’s eyes widened. “Ah.”

“It’s whatever,” said Deidara with a shrug. “I know you’re just teasing me, un.”

“Do you want it to be just teasing?”

The words were out before Kisame could catch them.

“That’s a loaded question,” whispered Deidara, shocked. “And not one I can properly answer.”

Kisame nodded. “Yeah. Sorry. I don’t know why I asked that.”

Deidara seemed to snap out of it, and he took a sip of water. “Take me out to lunch tomorrow and we’ll see how it goes.”

“Aren’t I taking you out tonight?”

“Tonight,” said Deidara slowly, “I’m splitting the bill with you because it’s not a date. Tomorrow, it will be a date.”

Kisame rolled his eyes. “You’re just trying to get free food out of me.”

“Think what you like, un,” said Deidara, waving his hand. “Meet me at the library tomorrow at 11:30. If you don’t show, I’ll just study like I’d originally intended.”

“I’ll be there,” said Kisame. He smiled, more genuinely and gently than he had all night. “I promise.”

“Good,” said Deidara.

“Here’s your food, sorry for the wait,” said Zabusa. He set down the plates and the check. “I overheard that you’re splitting it tonight. I know neither of you have cards since you’re high schoolers so just leave the money here. Come again.” Without waiting for a response, he left to go attend to another table.

“Y’see why I broke up with him?” said Deidara. “Fuckin’ bastard.”

“Hopefully I can treat you a little better than that,” said Kisame with a frown.

Deidara’s expression softened. “You already have, Kisame.”

“Ah. I’m glad.”

They ate in mostly silence, then put down the money they owed and walked out of the restaurant.

“Library at 11:30, right?” asked Kisame, putting a reminder in his phone.

“You don’t have to come,” said Deidara. He suddenly felt shy. “I mean, we just met, and…”

“I’ll be there.” Kisame handed his phone to Deidara, who looked confused until he saw it was a contact information form.

“You can just ask for my number, un,” grumbled Deidara, but he put his name and number in there as well as a note with the classes they shared.

“I’ll text you when I get home, alright?” said Kisame. “And I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“Right,” agreed Deidara, and he was just turning to leave when Kisame caught his wrist. “What is it?” he asked.

Kisame pressed a light kiss to Deidara’s cheek and then let go. “I had fun,” he said quietly. “A lot of fun.”

“Oh,” was all Deidara could really say. Kisame laughed, waved, and then headed on his way.

It was only after he was long gone that Deidara started on home. And when he got home, he checked his phone. There was one new message from an unfamiliar number, and the contents made Deidara laugh in disbelief.

_By the way, you have the most beautiful hair. I didn’t tell you, but I knew who you were because of that. Not your name, though. My nickname for you was “Cinderella”, actually. I’d hoped I might be your prince someday.  
-Kisame_


End file.
